AI Survivors - Left 4 Dead 1/2
Anyone who’s played Valve’s co-operative zombie slayer will know all too well the feeling of frustration as your friends take juust too long to save you. At least with a machine on your side you could reliably expect it to prioritize your life when in trouble, right? Wrong. When they weren’t wilfully throwing themselves into Spitter goo or the waiting tongue of a Smoker, L4D’s AI Survivors were far too preoccupied ineffectively batting away zombies to even consider saving your hide.
Playing Left 4 Dead or its sequel solo was more akin to babysitting than surviving the zombie apocalypse. Shepherding your AI children through each map you’d better a hope the Director didn’t throw a Witch in your path, as no matter how stealthily you manoeuvred, one of your bumbling companions was bound to set her off. Your friends might make mistakes from time to time, but at least you know that they’re trying to win.
Roman Bellic - Grand Theft Auto 4
Niko! It’s Roman, Let’s go bowling!
Niko! It’s Roman, Let’s go bowling!
Remind us again why Rockstar likes to ruin their games with annoying phone calls? At this point we’re expecting a mobile to vibrate its insufferable way into Red Dead Redemption 2.
Prince Tricky - Star Fox Adventures
Not content to let Slippy hog all the Starfox fame, Tricky was Fox’s primary ally in Rare’s bizarre Star Fox/Zelda hybrid on a planet of dinosaurs. Essentially a baby triceratops, Tricky becomes Fox’s ally for much of the game, and could even be considered cute if it wasn’t for his godawful escort sections. Early on in the game, Fox and Tricky don’t exactly get on well, and the developers thought it’d be fun to relay this mechanically by making Tricky refuse to follow any instructions whenever he’s hungry. To stop him running off in a huff, Fox needed to tediously collect red mushrooms, feeding them to Tricky so he’d actually, y’know, let you progress in the story. Because what we’d all hoped for in a Star Fox sequel was looking after spoilt dino children. Thanks, Rare.
