Big Daddy vs Big Boss
Background: Call it the work/life balance derby. This showdown would pit BioShock's infamous, groaning, diving suit-clad behemoths against Hideo Kojima's legendary master spy. Big Daddies were built specifically to discourage splicers and other ne'er-do-wells from interfering with Little Sisters as they harvested Adam from the dead former residents of Rapture, and as such they're built like brick outhouses, and stacked with offensive hardware ranging from terrifying, fridge-sized drill-bits to grenade launchers. Big Boss is merely a man, but he's a master of evasion, not to mention every kind of weapon and hand-to-hand combat. This should be a close one.
The fight: For the purposes of science, we begin by throwing a brick at a nearby Little Sister with a signed polaroid of Big Boss tied around it. Rapture's crazed creation then flies into a frenzy, revving his arm drill like there's no tomorrow, while Big Boss cowers behind... Uh oh. Rapture may have plenty of Little Sister vents, but those are too small for Solid Snake's genetic ancestor. There are plenty of walls to peek around, but precious little usable cover. Tranquilizer guns and CQC won't be much use against that diving suit, either. Big Boss whips out his cardboard box in desperation, but Big Daddy is having none of that, and his drill-bit rips through it like tissue paper and appears certain to shred the hero inside.
Just when all appears lost, however, we realize the box was housing a Decoy, and quicker than you can say Tactical Espionage Action, a camouflaged Big Boss melts out of the scenery behind Big Daddy and begins reciting at length the various anti-nuclear subtexts of 1960s Japanese tokusatsu kaiju cinema, at which point the Big Daddy forgets what he was doing in the first place and shuts down.
Winner: Big Boss
Right, our boss is giving us a funny look. We hope you enjoyed these important thought experiments. Let us know who YOU would like to see go head to head in the comments.
